Some charmingly dark humor from Barbara Pym

"Mrs. Dyer went on to tell them all about a 'mystery tour', taken by the old people's association of a neighbouring village (the Evergreen Oldsters), on just such a hot afternoon as this on which they were now setting out. One of the old people on the journey home had been observed to be curiously silent, not joining in the sing-song.

'And do you know what?' Mrs. Dyer waited for an answer.

'He was dead?' said Emma brightly. 'Or was it an old woman?'

'No, it was an old gentleman.'

'I thought as much -- a woman would have more consideration than to do a thing like that, to die on an outing, with all the inconvenience.'"

Excerpted from page 109-110, A Few Green Leaves, E.P. Dutton edition.

Alcohol-enjoying librarians are honored in a Barbara Pym quote

"'I think I should prefer a glass of lemon squash,' said Miss Lydgate.

This was a relief, if only a slight one, Digby felt, as he assured Miss Clovis that he and Mark never drank in the middle of the day.

'I feel one shouldn't go into learned societies or libraries smelling of drink,' said Mark, at his most prim. 'It might create the wrong impression.'

'Oh, I hadn't thought of that,' said Miss Clovis, sipping her dark foamy drink. 'I don't suppose anyone would notice. Of course, it's all right for librarians to smell of drink,' she added jovially.

'Of course,' said Digby enthusiastically."


From chapter eight of Barbara Pym's Less Than Angels.